“What did you hope to achieve out here?” this was what I was
asking myself, as I ran along the Lee Valley canal. The words were partly a
philosophical thought process, as I struggled through my club’s Sunday long
run, but mostly influenced by me seeing The Lost City of Z. I
found the film itself to be really refreshing, it wasn’t just a simple plot of
hero rescues damsel/ city/ world/ treasure from a danger, but an exploration of
why as human beings we push ourselves to seek danger and uncertainty in our
lives. This is what I think running was about too. We are usually struggling
for something that is just out of reach- whether it be a time or distance. Like
the film we are usually trying to explain this to everyone around us, about why
we run and why it is such a good thing to do; when to most people it looks like
such a slog. Therein to me lies the paradox of running; it is only as we
approach that moment of complete exhaustion- be it on a long run or during a
lung busting tempo run- that we get a glimpse into why we really run. To find
that fine line during a good workout/ race where we feel both at peace and in
pain, whilst being so totally focussed on the task at hand. So it was on this
long run last Sunday that I was starting to question what I really wanted from
all of this training. The first and most obvious thought was: ‘I want to get an
amazing time!’, but after that I realised that all I wanted to do was run the
London Marathon to the best of my abilities. To put all of the training that I
had done since December 2016 to the best possible effect and come to the end of
the 26.2 miles feeling satisfied. Though marathons don’t work like that and
this is what makes them so exciting and scary, not knowing what the outcome
will be.
