‘My worst thoughts then, were
confirmed. The blackness of eternal night encompassed me. I struggled for
breath. The intensity of the darkness, seemed to oppress and stifle me. The
atmosphere was intolerably close’. Edgar Allan Poe, The Pit and the Pendulum (1850).
There is an anonymous, widely
quoted saying about life that the only two things that are certain about it are
death and taxes. For runners this could be translated to the fact that during
their ‘career’ there can be many things that happen to them, but due to
following their passion at some point they will encounter injury and illness.
This is the topic behind the title of my post. I know that both sayings come
from a pessimistic viewpoint about life and running, but there is also an
element of experience to them. We run for a whole variety of reasons, just go
on Amazon or Google “running” and you will find a huge number of books with
explanations by their authors about why they run; but we rarely appreciate how
much that simple action of putting one foot in front of the other at varying
degrees of pace impacts our lives. I would go as far to say that running is
almost like any of our other physical functions, that it is almost a reflexive
action. Even the person who says that they don’t like running, you will still
see them running for a bus or scurrying across a busy road to avoid cars. Like
it or not running is something that we can spontaneously do without having to
involve ourselves in thought or engage with complex gym equipment. Therefore it
is quite a shock to most people when they become ill or injured, and for a
time, cannot run like they used to. Indeed one of the reasons for my long delay
between posts recently, is due to illness and a few niggles. This may sound
silly, but even as I type this post I shudder at those things that hampered my
running, as though they could return at any time.
This is what I mean about a
‘shadow’. For most of us when we are young, we care very little about potential
dangers or injuries of sport. It is only when we first encounter a setback in
our training programme or an incident in a race that we realise there are
things that can hinder us, be they something beyond control or an aspect that
we could control. It is from this that we enter into a fascinating paradox
about running; it is only when we are not able to run at our best/ or not at
all, that we fully appreciate what we have been doing. After we have recovered
we are grateful to be able to run to our full potential again, but we come to
understand that life can throw obstacles in our way and these are never far
away- like a ‘shadow’. My personal experience was in February during some of my
hard training for the coming races leading to the Brighton Marathon. I had
common cold or what I would refer to as ‘man-flu’. I had muddled through my
training programme the previous week and had ignored the signs, leading to the
cold spreading to my chest. On Tuesday when it came to my track session I
finally acknowledged that I was in no fit state to do anything and ended up
having to take Wednesday off sick. Having pushed myself through my training
programme the previous week, I also had a number of tight muscle areas where my
body had simply needed a rest rather than being pushed any further. At this
point I felt dejected and worried about my running. I couldn’t understand how
all this training, which had been going pretty well up until this point, had
led to me laying down on a sofa taking as many cold remedies as possible.
Once I came to realise that I would not be
doing any serious training for the next few days I reflected upon my setback.
My first insight to being ill was that there are two parts to it; the physical
and mental. For me it can be quite difficult to separate the two, as I have
found that I tend to become quite sad when I start to become ill. The first physical
signs of my cold where that when I tried to stand I became dizzy and it was
also almost as though the world was one fluid revolving merry-go round that did
not stop. Every time I tried to turn my attention to something I couldn’t seem
to find a focus and this became increasingly jarring as I could not find the
energy to concentrate on anything for long enough. Besides the tight muscles,
which I mentioned above, my body felt sore and ached all over. All-in-all I was
feeling sorry for myself and annoyed that I could not train. You want to do
something, but you can’t because you know that action will only make things
worse. It is at this moment, when you cannot do anything physically that I
found a battle in my mind took place.
It is hard to describe the thoughts that occur whilst
recuperating from an illness or injury. When you are sitting there frustrated
the best feeling I can liken it to; is when you have a nice, long, warm bath
and come to the realisation that you are not comfortable anymore. The water is
tepid, even cold, and you do not want to be there anymore but you cannot move
yet. You begin to worry about how you will perform once you have returned from
you injury or illness. For some people this can go as far as depression, but
for many it will just be a general sense of anxiety. Horrible scenarios enter
your head coming and going as the please, with no rhyme or reason. Silly
questions start to form in your mind: do people at work think I can’t handle my
running training if I get this ill? Is it worth trying to beat the 3hr marathon
mark if I get this ill? There are so many runners that are better than me, why
should I think I am special?
These negative thoughts come in waves and to be honest with
you can be quite tricky to combat in my opinion. This is partly because the
illness/ injury you are going through is generally not making you feel great
and when you are in that situation you fail to question the assumptions that
are passing through your mind. I also found that my negative thoughts would
come in waves and every time this happened I would try and steel myself from
letting them affect me. Scott Jurek has an excellent four step process in his book
Eat and Run, which I have shared
below:
1)
Acknowledge the feeling or emotion you are in.
2)
Analyse your situation, don’t just react to it.
3)
Look at what you can do to remedy the situation.
4)
Seperate your thoughts from reality, i.e. don’t
dwell on negative feelings.
Not only do I think this is very practical advice, but it
also comes from someone who has raced an ultra-marathon with an injured ankle.
Of course you need to practice at these steps to feel benefits. Like a lot of
things it won’t just happen overnight, but it is a good way of stopping
yourself from falling into a negative cycle. Then one day you can gradually
begin to feel better. This can be a small step you take where you don’t feel
any pain; or like the tides of the ocean gently lapping a shore, your mental as
well as physical wellbeing can imperceptibly improve. It is during these times
of recovery that I begin to realise that my injury/ illness will not be
permanent and there will be a way out. Not immediately but eventually.
Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face- Mike Tyson.
The quote above by Mike Tyson may seem obvious and blunt,
but in my opinion it really does sum up how we react to life. We can all
imagine our ideal situation where we have our ‘Hollywood’ moment and achieve
something with everyone cheering us on. Though it is really the moments where
we are alone, and possibly even despairing, that help us find out who we are
and illuminate our inner reserves of strength. What I am alluding to with
Tyson’s statement is that you should be prepared for a few setbacks or that
things may not always turn out the way you expect them to. It is when we have
suffered an injury or illness that we begin to understand how much we want to
achieve something. Essentially it is about being able to adapt to the
circumstance that we find ourselves in and understanding how we can keep moving
forward. This is a lot harder than it sounds, for me it was wanting to train
but realising I couldn’t because I was ill, and it is about developing your own
solution to the circumstance you find yourself.
So what have I learnt from injury and
illness:-
·
This may sound obvious and a simple thing to do
(this article is proof of that), but listen to your body and rest. Sometimes
you have to take one step back, to take two steps forward (excuse the pun!). If
you think you have a serious injury or something that is not going away then a
physiotherapist or osteopath is a great place to start.
·
Besides listening to your body a good thing to
try is working with your body to see what helps you recover. I have found yoga,
stretching, foam rolling and weight training all help in their own way to
getting your body to race another. Other things that I haven’t tried, but
people have recommended to me is pilates, swimming and cycling as alternatives
to running when your body is aching.
The Lore of Running- advocates a
number of solutions for solving injuries and
Born to Run emphasises correct
running form to prevent hurting your body.
·
When you have got an injury or illness a simple
thing to get you through it is to be kind to yourself. When I couldn’t train I
tried to find ways to see how I had messed up, which was highly negative,
eventually realising that I just had to accept it had happened and find a
solution to it. I have mentioned
meditation
in a previous post and I have found this to be one way of being kinder to
myself.
·
I have realised that I like to stick with a
plan, but learnt that you have to modify it when circumstances dramatically
change. Ultimately we must persist, endure and keep the faith when faced with a
challenging setback.
‘Nor had I erred in my calculation- nor had I endured in
vain. I at length felt I was free’. Edgar Allan Poe, The Pit and the Pendulum (1850).
