To blog, or not to blog, that is the question

I have never considered myself a blogger or ever intended to blog about running. If this sounds like a confession I suppose it is. I have always ran or been running since I can remember, but it was only in 2011 that I decided to enter a half marathon and that is when I caught the ‘running bug’ as people have labelled it. Ever since then I have entered into all sorts of races, be they tough mudder style obstacle courses to your classic 10k races that seem to be the staple of every running club. It was only when I gave up playing rugby in 2013 that I realised I was slowly becoming more and more interested in running. I started to run longer distances, as well as races, and ended up (like many other thousands of people in the UK) finishing my first marathon in 2014 at Brighton. It was after this marathon that I experienced a feeling of elation- one could even call it a high- that I have not felt before; my body was rushing with endorphins and all around I saw the smiles of fellow runners who without having to exchange a word knew what we had each been through. In many ways it was a moment of contradictions; in one sense I felt like I wanted to do a marathon all over again, but at the same time I knew I could barely walk let alone run another mile.

That was when I knew I had caught the ‘running bug’ for sure as I stood at the finishing area of my first marathon, half dazed and exhausted, looking at my finishing medal and wondering if I had really just run 26 miles. Soon after someone gave me Scott Jurek’s Eat & Run, which is an account of one of the USA’s most famous ultra-runners who bases all his nutrition around a vegan diet with amazing results. In Jurek’s book I learnt about ultra-marathons, a term I had never come across before, and about legendary running distances of sometimes 100 kilometres or more. After finishing Eat & Run I became fascinated with how these ultra-runners prepared for their races and realised there must be something similar for marathon preparation. I was overwhelmed by the vast number of books out there, just go to Amazon or Google: ‘Running Books’. You will find a dizzying array of titles giving all sorts of advice- that can sometimes seem contradictory and hard to verify. It was only after making a list of books that I thought were good- mainly based on Amazon ratings and then speaking with people who were runners and had read those books- that I felt comfortable going out to buy these running books.

At this stage I still had no intention of seriously blogging I just wanted to see what information was out there and how it could help me improve my running. I also decided to look at the internet for valid advice, which was even more overwhelming than searching for books. There seems to be hundreds, if not thousands, of blogs about running out there. Just take a look at the sheer variety on this page that I stumbled upon: http://www.marathontrainingschedule.com/blog/awesome-list-top-100-best-running-blogs-2014/. 

Before looking at all these amazing blogs, by people far quicker than me and more knowledgeable about things like nutrition or tapering say; I had entertained the idea of starting my own blog, but this was a dream more than anything. The simple aim of starting my own blog was to record the trials and tribulations of trying to qualify for the London Marathon. I have tried twice so far to get into the London Marathon on the open ballot, being unsuccessful each time, and I did not want to just join a running club for the sake of getting into the London Marathon. If I was going to join a running club it would be to improve, try out different races and meet new people. To at least stand a chance of qualifying for the London Marathon 2016 I knew I would have to get a time of under 3 hours and 5 minutes in another marathon. To ensure that I definitely got under that time I had set the not so realistic time of breaking the 3 hour marathon mark for my training regime.

So this was the original idea for my blog, which kept coming back to me as I was commuting to work or popping into my head before I went to sleep. After looking at all the other amazing blogs in the link above not only was I intimidated, but I thought what do I actually add by creating my own blog? It all seemed to be covered by the many diverse blogs already out there. I wouldn’t say I was disheartened or even sad about it; I just wanted to add something that I thought was constructive about running and not just repeat something that has already been said before. For those readers who may be thinking, that there is a touch of irony to the previous sentence, I am aware of it too; namely that there is probably someone out there who has written a blog post very similar to the one I am writing now. My answer to that is that I am hoping if there are a number of similar blog posts to this one out there, then in our own little way we may have a slightly different view on the same topic- anyway I am digressing!

I was still passionate about running and if anything, looking at these blogs made me realise how much I had to learn. I had entered the Leicester 2014 marathon and was determined to use this newly found knowledge to improve my time. I didn’t know if I would feel as happy as I had at Brighton, but the camaraderie of the runners I met during that race and the atmosphere were amazing. I may not have pushed my body to its limits that day, but I had improved my time. It was in those exuberant moments after finishing my second marathon, when the idea for this blog reappeared- like some premonition in a ghost story that refuses to leave the main character alone. My friend Pete found me exhausted and limping around looking for him, and commented on how it seemed to mean so much to all those people who crossed the finishing line that day.

From this conversation came the embryonic idea for this blog. I had found out that the winner of the marathon that day had completed it in 2 hours and 35 minutes. A time that I can only dream of getting and made me realise how many people had probably finished the marathon before me that day, as well as how many people would finish afterwards. This was nothing to do with me feeling competitive or insecure about my time, even though I had not won the race I had won the challenge that I set with myself. Not everyone can win a race and it is always good to have some form of healthy competition, but to me what is more important is why we are running and the journey we go on to take part in a race of any type.  On the races that I have taken part in I have seen a variety of runners; talking to people who thought they could never run a marathon and were now in the final 5 miles, those runners who have found that the race has taken its toll who are walking but not giving up, the fancy dress runners who have given themselves an additional burden of sweating into a costume- the best I have seen to date is a full size WWF panda suit with the words inscribed on the back saying: ‘The Panda made me do it!’, those runners who seem to start the race quickly proceeding to glide through the whole thing without tiring and the most inspiring, in my opinion, are the charity runners who have got on the front of their vest/ shirt: ‘For mum’, ‘For dad’ or some dearly loved person. Every time I see these runners I forget about the aching in my legs or the negative thoughts about why I am in this race, instead looking at these runners with admiration whilst being humbled at the same time. These thoughts hit me all at once and, then like trying to catch a butterfly without killing it, I thought I had an elusive idea for a blog.  I then spent the next few months trying to sketch what I thought this blog could really be about and why I should write about it after my previous doubts mentioned above.

It was during this time of trying to form an idea of what my blog would look like- involving many scribbled ideas and screwed up pieces of paper- that I finally formed a coherent view of what I thought after the Leicester marathon. I wanted to write about the idea that ultimately everyone has their own triumphs and tribulations to overcome; they may have been training for weeks or months, sometimes even years, for many different reasons. That is why I think running is so fascinating, it reflects humanity in all its depth and complexity. I decided that even though I have experience of running, I did not want this blog to be about me offering my very amateur advice; rather it would be a place where I could offer fellow runners reviews of the races I have taken part in, books that I have read, what sort of running gear I have and what I thought of it and links to other topics (e.g. running to work). I also want this blog to be a discourse, where other runners can offer their views about the topics I mention and any tips that they can share with other people that read this blog.

In this spirit, of trying to connect with other people around the world about running, I also decided to include my story about trying to reach my ultimate goal of breaking the 3 hour marathon mark. In November I entered the Brighton Marathon 2015 and am joining a local running club; to embody the values of this blog to connect with new people as well as learning new ideas/techniques about running. I hope it will provide a narrative backdrop to this blog over the next four months, as no doubt there will be good and bad moments as well as some very comical ones knowing me. What I would really like this blog to illustrate is something I noticed in It’s a Wonderful Life; there is a scene where George Bailey is standing next to a picture of his late father and underneath there is a statement saying: ‘All that you have is everything you have given away’. To me I have always aspired to live up to this quote when running a race, but I also believe this a great thing to do in the running community. To learn new things about running and share them with others, is a way we all become a little richer in each of our lives.

Running for some Uncertain Purpose is the name of this blog, because I think that the act of moving faster than a jog but slower than a sprint is something that fulfils a primordial as well as a spiritual need within all of us. I know the title isn’t catchy and doesn’t jump out at you; ultimately I chose it because every time I go for a run I can never quite give a definite answer about why I am doing it.  I run home from work through London, and included the picture above and video below, because to me there is something always so hopeful about Christmas but for many can also be quite sad. On that run home I lost count of the number of people on the street in that cold night begging for change, and found this contrasted with the bright Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square. Everyone has their motivation for running and it is something I want to understand more- about why for very different reasons we all congregate around the idea of running a set distance in the quickest possible time. I think this is something deeply ingrained within our human nature. Joseph Campbell (1949) once said: ‘And so every one of us shared the supreme ordeal- carries the cross of the redeemer- not in the bright moments of his tribe’s great victories, but in the silence of his personal despair’. I am sure at this time, just before Christmas, there are at least few runners going through their own ‘ordeals’ and I wish them the best of luck in those.