2015: The New Year…review or resolution? Part 2

In my second post about setting goals for 2015 I want to discuss how we ensure that we keep the promises we made with ourselves at the beginning of the year. In the first post about setting goals I looked at how we go about setting objectives and really understand why we want to achieve these things. In this article I want to move away from the process of setting goals and look at what sort of attitude we should have when working towards goals. Even when we set objectives that we stand a reasonable chance of achieving, life has a funny way of throwing obstacles/ events at us when we least expect it. I wanted to explore how we can make sure that we don’t lose faith, in the face of events beyond our control, in striving towards a goal we have set for 2015. I think we can do this by finding inspiration from our fellow man- from fictional to real life heroes- and being kinder to ourselves when in spite of our best efforts things do not go according to plan.

Keeping the faith

I always think the hardest thing to do in life is to try, strive or simply carry on in the face of sometimes overwhelming odds. How many times have you said to yourself or hear someone say to you; ‘I wish I had started that sooner?’ Once you have a goal, the most difficult part can be putting it into action. This can be for a whole variety of reasons. You could be trying intermittent fasting or saying that you will take up running. Both of these activities take will-power and discipline, which when you are not feeling great is sometimes a lot harder to summon. It may seem fine when you are writing your running plan and feeling relaxed, but think about whether you would be willing to run when you have had your boss tell you off at work and then to find that it’s pouring with rain and/or cold. Would you be in the right mind set and be ready to make a new personal best? Only when you are in that moment will you know whether you can do that. 

 

This is something that I think that modern day society does not applaud enough, people simply willing to go out there and try something they have never done before. We are definitely getting into the realms of my own person opinion here, but from how I see things it seems like the ‘X-Factor’ style TV culture is something that really hinders people from going out there and trying something new. Some of you may be thinking, but that is the whole of point of the ‘X-Factor’; it allows someone to become a professional singer who may never have known they had a great voice. That may be true, but what it does also encourage is an ‘all or nothing’ approach in the people who are taking part. The contestants, especially at the final stages, care more about winning than actually how well they have sung or discovering that they have a potentially beautiful singing voice. Another example of this, which we are all living in now, is the financial crisis of 2008 that came from a greater and greater need to make unreasonable amounts of profit- at the expense of the everyday man or woman- rather than make incremental profits year-on-year. Of course I am talking at a very simple philosophical level, but my point is that both examples illustrate a singular obsession on getting something without really figuring out how one should achieve that in a sustainable way, or for that matter be willing to go on the journey towards achieving that goal. That is what I mean when I said at the beginning of this paragraph about trying something new. 

It seems in today’s society everything has to be viewed in binary terms; make or break (boom and bust) when in actual fact life is a lot more complex than that, and in my opinion a lot more gradual. This is my issue with shows like ‘X-Factor’ it gives the impression that when you go out and try something you should be an instant success; when the truth is that it is only the case for a very select few. I am not trying to be negative, simply to say that’s why we hold sports stars in such high regards, they are the elite few who have reached the top of a very competitive process. What I am trying to emphasise more is that there are normal people, who do some pretty amazing things. Just take a look at these stories- http://www.brightonmarathon.co.uk/inspiration- and I challenge you not to be moved! They may not be the next big pop star, but they are much more inspiring and heroic in my eyes. 

 This is what I mean about ‘Keeping the Faith’; it’s not about always reaching that big goal that counts, but recognising that you took a shot at something and it’s okay that things didn’t go the way you wanted to. The people I am most in awe of are those who have everything in life thrown at them, but are able to dust themselves off and get back up again. I have found inspiration from characters in stories, political figures, sportsmen and women, friends and family. They can be the source of what inspires us to try something new and really go out there and take that risk. I recently read Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk to Freedom; whilst not being a book about running it offered me many lessons about overcoming adversity. One of the interesting things I drew from the book in relation to running, was how Mandela always kept up his running regime even when he was imprisoned! He would jog on the spot in the cell as well as in the courtyard when on Robben Island. On a personal level, after reading this account, I felt pretty silly agonising over whether I should go out for a run after work, when it is very likely that there are people unfairly locked up all over the world desperate to be free. I think we should be kinder to ourselves and realise that striving is just as noble a cause as getting to the goal you want to achieve. I have said how I think running calls to something deep inside all of us in my first blog post (http://uncertainrunner.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/to-blog-or-not-to-blog-that-is-question.html#more). We know that we are not all going to be the next Wilson Kipsang (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilson_Kipsang_Kiprotich), but that is why we should realise how much more important it is to go on the journey than finishing it. One of my favourite films is Rocky Balboa, this short video encapsulates what I am trying to say about going after what you want.

Confronting reality, whilst running positively

Once we realise that it is okay to try and fail at the goals we seek to achieve, knowing that we have given everything we could to those goals, then we are free to show compassion towards ourselves. I think it is very useful to try to be positive about not just running, but life in general. In fact, I am starting to think that having a happy or happier outlook on life is just like going to the gym or a run. It is only by repeating a particular activity that is good for you, that you will feel better and allows you to get through the rough times.

I have come across three particular examples, which help me stay positive and it would be great to know what you think of them. The first is very simple, which can be done on a daily, weekly, monthly or even yearly basis. It is to find three things that have made you happy or that have made your life more positive, however minor or small. In this blog post I would take the example of looking back at 2014 and reviewing three things that you thought were good and how you are going to build on them for 2015. These could come from your mission statement that I mentioned in the previous post (http://uncertainrunner.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/2015-new-yearreview-or-resolution-part-1.html#more) or be incorporated in the mission statement- it’s up to you. These three things don’t even have to be related to running, as long as they make you happy.

The next is called the Stockdale Paradox and is centred on personal growth (http://www.ndoherty.com/stockdale-paradox/). The link has more information and explains the backstory to the paradox, but the main idea to take from it is that you cannot just blindly hope that things will get better when you are going through a difficult time. Instead it is better to recognise the current situation you are in, whilst maintaining a positive belief that you will eventually achieve your goal.  I believe this has a number of benefits when you are working towards a goal. Say you have never run a marathon before and your training plan’s longest run is 18 miles, but you know that this plan is guaranteed to help you finish a marathon running. You may feel absolutely daunted by running marathon and know that you are not in the best shape to complete it right now. However by following the plan and taking steps to prepare for this 26 mile race, you stand a pretty good chance of finishing. This in essence is the Stockdale Paradox; accepting the brutal facts of the goal you want to achieve, acknowledging the difficulties that will affect the success of that goal and taking most of (if not all) the steps necessary to try and achieve that goal. This means that when the deciding moment for that objective comes – in this case a race- you stand the best chance of achieving it. The Stockdale Paradox is a great way of preparing yourself mentally for a gruelling training plan, which at the end has a difficult goal for you to achieve, but it is very hard to put into practice. I know that I like to trick myself about how good my fitness and it is only within ourselves that we know how well we are doing.

The last aspect I found useful for improving positivity is mindfulness/ meditation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness).  There are a lot of people who say that the two things are one of the same, and I am not qualified to say. What I do know is that meditation has given me a lot of space to reflect on the type of person I am as well as observe my emotions, thoughts and behaviours separately. This has given me clarity when analysing how I am running. To be clear though, I am not advocating meditation for everyone. Simply that it could be something you could try to improve your mental wellbeing. I won’t discuss it here, as I intend to devote a future blog post to how meditation and running relate.

Ultimately when embarking on a training plan it is important to recognise that things are not going to radically change overnight, but there will be gradual changes over a long period of time. When feeling low about how my training is going I tend to refer back to the Rudyard Kipling poem If (http://www.kiplingsociety.co.uk/poems_if.htm) and have reproduced it below:

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

We are defined by our choices

So far in this post I have talked about being kinder to ourselves, recognising that striving towards a goal is just as important as achieving it and that learning to understand the situation we are currently in whilst being positive about behaviours that help us reach our objectives. All these things will mean nothing if we do not have the discipline to follow through on our plan and resist temptations that may lead us to going off course. E. M. Gray, in his book The Common Denominator of Success, said that: ‘the successful person has the habit of doing things [other people] don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either necessarily. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose’. Simply put Gray is telling us that to be successful we need to say no to things that may get in the way of our goal. This means being able to recognise what we can control and not letting our choices affect our goal(s) negatively.

A good example is when you friends ask you to come with them on a night out. You know that there will be lots of alcohol and that this will mean that you will perform poorly on your training run if you do drink loads. So you have a number of choices; you can drink loads and have a bad hangover, you can opt not to go out, you can go out but have one drink or you can consume soft-drinks. The important thing to recognise here is that in any situation you have a number of choices, but you must be prepared for the consequences. Essentially the choices you make in relation to your plan, will determine the success of your goal. Of course things can go wrong that are beyond your control, like an illness or injury, but a lot of people (including me sometimes) too often look externally to blame a problem when it is down to our choices. It is only by accepting responsibility for what is within and out of control that we are able to learn from mistakes, not blame and observe the journey we are on towards our goal.  The hardest moment for me, in terms of discipline, was when I had to pull out of the North Downs 2014 run. I desperately wanted to take part in the race, as when I did the race in 2013 it convinced me to sign up for marathon; but I had not prepared properly, had very little sleep and then it turned out I had to move flats that week. I just wouldn’t have enjoyed it and risked injury. At the time it was agonising, but in the long term it was the right thing to do and spurred me on to train even harder for my next race.

This does not mean you have to live a monastic lifestyle, it does mean that you will have to put things on hold to achieve a goal. The most important thing to realise is that once that goal is achieved especially if it’s for a race, you can then devote time family/ friends as well as celebrating. I got an email from the Brighton Marathon which sums up what I trying to say about choice and discipline; there will always be days that you don’t think you can run a marathon, but there will be a lifetime knowing that you have.

The Long and Winding Road

I said in my previous blog post that despite being a goal of mine, I had not emailed the running club I hoped to join. I have done that today, am going for a taster session with a running group on Tuesday and have lined up an alternative club if the first one does not work out. Therefore I hope I can lead by example in regards to my last two blog posts. Scot Jurek, ultra-marathon legend and author of Eat and Run, summarises quite nicely what I have been trying to say in my last two blog posts:

“Life is not a race…. There is no finish line. We strive towards a goal, and whether we achieve it or not is important, but it’s not what is most important. What matters is how we move toward that goal. What’s crucial is the step we’re taking now, the step you’re taking now.”

I hope this post has given you some inspiration in helping you to achieve your goals; let me know what your thoughts are on this post as well as how you plan to achieve your goals for 2015. I wish you the best of luck! Maybe none of my advice or thoughts helped, so in the vain hope that if you are still reading and finding nothing of use, I will leave you with Baz Luhrmann’s Wear Sunscreen video as some advice for the future.