I have
been doing a lot of thinking since my last post, as I wanted to really reflect
on what happened at Bournemouth. I think my initial reaction to not getting
under three hours at Bournemouth was one of trying to look at what I did wrong.
Now that I have had time to think about the race I see it in a much more
positive light and feel like even though I did not get the time that I aimed
for, I did well under the circumstances. So really this post is about how I
viewed my race with hindsight. Inevitably my new job has conspired to stop me
from posting twice a month, as I had originally planned, but I am still happy
with posting once a month. When things calm down at work I aim to try and keep
to writing two posts a month or even just updating things about myself on my
blog.
I
also took quite a bit of time off from my formal training programme that I had
been following since January 2015, as a sort of ‘holiday/ time-off’ from
running. At first I felt like I was cheating myself and betraying my running,
but as time went on I have felt better about my running overall and it has
given me some perspective on what I have achieved this year. I have been
listening to some of the podcasts that I mentioned in a previous post earlier
in the year and stumbled across this definition of ‘happiness’. The reason I
have put ‘happiness’ in quotation marks is because it can mean many different
things to different people; and on a personal level I think it is very hard to
define on an abstract level, beyond simple statements such as: the opposite of
sad. In this podcast the guest believed people could work towards happiness
through these key steps.
1. Perceived Control: A person becomes happy when they know where they
are going in life.
2. Perceived Progress: People are happier when they
feel they are heading in the direction they want to be going.
3. Connectedness: People find a common sense of value/ worth
whilst working, training or having fun with other people aiming towards a
common goal.
4. Vision: A person feels that what they are doing matters
in some way and/ or is part of something bigger than themselves.
It was
whilst hearing these steps towards ‘happiness’, that I had my idea for this
post. I always knew running gave me that spark; whether it was chatting to
people about how fun it is to train for a goal or just going out and pushing
myself to my limit. Training for my half-marathons, 20 mile races and marathons
gave me that enthusiasm for life in general. It also got me thinking that
possibly before or after Bournemouth I lost my way for that passion or decided
to let a result dictate how I should feel about my running, which it obviously
shouldn’t.
So
the question you may be asking is what did I learn after looking back at
Bournemouth?
·
I
misjudged the course and it was harder than I realised. According to my Run Britain profile it was
quite a bit harder than Brighton. This made me realise that it was possibly an
unrealistic course to aim for less than three hours, but also on a more
positive note that I performed better than I realised.
·
Even
though I may not have got the time I wanted I dug deep and carried on when
things didn’t go according to plan.
·
I got to
see Gem loads of times and despite not feeling great, there were some really nice
moments; like the boy running alongside me to give me water and the pictures
from the day.
·
I now
know how I react when things go wrong, and despite losing some of my mental
determination, I was still proud of how I reacted.
·
I have
started to become ‘hungry’ for training again; so even though Bournemouth
drained me I feel it is has also given me some perspective on why I run in the
first place (something that this blog is primarily set up to explore through my
own posts).
· I also found a great explanation
by an elite amateur athlete about why they race. Their definition was to love
the competition itself, not competing against other people, but just purely
setting yourself a challenge that may scare you and working towards it. To love
that challenge and enjoy just being in that moment.
·
One of
the most important things I learnt was how much I had achieved over this year.
Getting a great time at Brighton, returning to the North Downs and then doing
the National Three Peaks challenge whilst training for my fourth marathon. Also
taking part in my club’s athletics events in the summer. All these things made
me realise how much I had done, looking at the larger picture rather than just
one result.
At
the time Bournemouth felt like and probably still is the toughest marathon I
have done to date. Something which I am glad I was humbled by, as I did not
give the course the respect it deserved. In a lot of ways I want to go back to
Bournemouth and really give it another attempt, but for now London 2016 awaits.
One quote I stumbled across after I finished Bournemouth was by Arnold
Schwarzenegger, which gave me a certain boost after feeling exhausted after
26.2 miles:
Strength does not come from
winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships
and decide not surrender, that is strength.
I will
certainly be taking that going forward in my training.
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