Monday, 30 November 2015

Humbled by Bournemouth

A photo posted by Edward (@uncertainrunner) on



I have been doing a lot of thinking since my last post, as I wanted to really reflect on what happened at Bournemouth. I think my initial reaction to not getting under three hours at Bournemouth was one of trying to look at what I did wrong. Now that I have had time to think about the race I see it in a much more positive light and feel like even though I did not get the time that I aimed for, I did well under the circumstances. So really this post is about how I viewed my race with hindsight. Inevitably my new job has conspired to stop me from posting twice a month, as I had originally planned, but I am still happy with posting once a month. When things calm down at work I aim to try and keep to writing two posts a month or even just updating things about myself on my blog. 


 
 I also took quite a bit of time off from my formal training programme that I had been following since January 2015, as a sort of ‘holiday/ time-off’ from running. At first I felt like I was cheating myself and betraying my running, but as time went on I have felt better about my running overall and it has given me some perspective on what I have achieved this year. I have been listening to some of the podcasts that I mentioned in a previous post earlier in the year and stumbled across this definition of ‘happiness’. The reason I have put ‘happiness’ in quotation marks is because it can mean many different things to different people; and on a personal level I think it is very hard to define on an abstract level, beyond simple statements such as: the opposite of sad. In this podcast the guest believed people could work towards happiness through these key steps. 

1.       Perceived Control: A person becomes happy when they know where they are going in life.

2.       Perceived Progress: People are happier when they feel they are heading in the direction they want to be going.

3.       Connectedness: People find a common sense of value/ worth whilst working, training or having fun with other people aiming towards a common goal.

4.       Vision: A person feels that what they are doing matters in some way and/ or is part of something bigger than themselves.

 It was whilst hearing these steps towards ‘happiness’, that I had my idea for this post. I always knew running gave me that spark; whether it was chatting to people about how fun it is to train for a goal or just going out and pushing myself to my limit. Training for my half-marathons, 20 mile races and marathons gave me that enthusiasm for life in general. It also got me thinking that possibly before or after Bournemouth I lost my way for that passion or decided to let a result dictate how I should feel about my running, which it obviously shouldn’t.

 So the question you may be asking is what did I learn after looking back at Bournemouth?
·         I misjudged the course and it was harder than I realised. According to my Run Britain profile it was quite a bit harder than Brighton. This made me realise that it was possibly an unrealistic course to aim for less than three hours, but also on a more positive note that I performed better than I realised.
·         Even though I may not have got the time I wanted I dug deep and carried on when things didn’t go according to plan.
·         I got to see Gem loads of times and despite not feeling great, there were some really nice moments; like the boy running alongside me to give me water and the pictures from the day.
·         I now know how I react when things go wrong, and despite losing some of my mental determination, I was still proud of how I reacted.
·         I have started to become ‘hungry’ for training again; so even though Bournemouth drained me I feel it is has also given me some perspective on why I run in the first place (something that this blog is primarily set up to explore through my own posts).
·        I also found a great explanation by an elite amateur athlete about why they race. Their definition was to love the competition itself, not competing against other people, but just purely setting yourself a challenge that may scare you and working towards it. To love that challenge and enjoy just being in that moment.
·         One of the most important things I learnt was how much I had achieved over this year. Getting a great time at Brighton, returning to the North Downs and then doing the National Three Peaks challenge whilst training for my fourth marathon. Also taking part in my club’s athletics events in the summer. All these things made me realise how much I had done, looking at the larger picture rather than just one result.

 At the time Bournemouth felt like and probably still is the toughest marathon I have done to date. Something which I am glad I was humbled by, as I did not give the course the respect it deserved. In a lot of ways I want to go back to Bournemouth and really give it another attempt, but for now London 2016 awaits. One quote I stumbled across after I finished Bournemouth was by Arnold Schwarzenegger, which gave me a certain boost after feeling exhausted after 26.2 miles:

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not surrender, that is strength.

I will certainly be taking that going forward in my training.

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