What is the greatest challenge that runners face? I ponder this thought, as I lie in the bath looking at my big toe, which no longer has a nail due to my latest cycle of marathon training. I have been for my final long run a week before the London Marathon 2019, though at eleven miles it doesn't feel that long. I return my thoughts to the original question. At first I turn to the addiction to constantly obtain personal bests (PBs)from each race one takes part in, however I can't in all honesty say that I think this is the hardest obstacle a runner faces. We all have different versions of PBs that we are looking to achieve in our running; be that distance, fundraising, time or simply just a running streak. So what about avoiding injuries? Yes that was a big part of why we eat healthily, stretch, foam-roll, sleep and have sports massages; however it is something that in one way or another all runners (in fact people playing any sport) accept as part of the taking part in that particular pursuit. So in my opinion it wasn't injury either. I thought about what I knew about running now, as compared to when I started running for the Brighton Marathon in 2014. There are so many things that I wouldn't do now, that I did back then, and I wonder if learning more about how I train is a perennial problem that all runners face. I dispel that thought, as I think anything that if you are pursuing any sort of passion you will always be learning and becoming aware of your limitations.
No I decided that the biggest quest a runner faces is when to push on or when to hold back? Ultimately about how we as runners find our balance, and by that I don't mean being balanced all the time; but knowing when we have gone too deep into our training. I finally landed upon this answer when I was watching the Netflix documentary Resurface. It is a documentary about a surf instructor who uses his talents to help American Afghanistan and Iraq veterans recover from their physical and mental injuries by learning how to surf. The strength of this short film lies in its understatement, there are no dramatic moments or music pulling your heartstrings; just these ordinary men describing how the war affected them. Whilst watching the film I was struck by a comment one of the veterans said about what he learnt as he progressed in his surfing ability. The veteran stated how you have to constantly respect the ocean, you can be surfing on the edge of that wave, but if you aren't aware of everything you are doing you can fall into the ocean and it chew you up and spit you out. He goes on to say how ultimately you come to realise that the ocean is bigger than you and it will always be there, no matter what you do. Whilst I wouldn't directly compare marathon running and training to learning how to surf. It did strike me how we are always trying to find that 'edge' ,where we are looking to consistently improve our performances whilst avoiding injuries. In that way I think running and surfing are similar in that both sports are trying to find the ever elusive spot of perfect balance. It could also be said that their fates are similar as well. The surfer either successfully rides out of the wave or is subsumed within this huge natural event; the runner successfully completes their race to their expectations or falls short (either during the race or through not being able to train properly for it).
Therein lies the huge attraction to pursuing any sport. To many observing it is the surface results and celebrations that seem to be why people constantly train for hours and days in their sport; however it is the process where I think many people find the biggest sense of achievement. Constantly working towards a future goal, in which they face a significant amount of uncertainty in knowing the outcome, yet faithfully continuing on in their training. It is when that balance is achieved and maintained during training that I think gives an athlete their biggest confidence boost before their event. Knowing when to really dig deep into their training and near the point of exhaustion, whilst recognising the warning signs of going too far and not being able to come back from certain workouts. Another aspect of this view of 'balance' that I am forming, is the acceptance and patience to deal with unexpected obstacles that arise during the training that I am pursuing.
This is exactly what happened in the training week leading up to my Sandy 10 race on 7 April. I knew I had been tired the week before, as I had completed two big races and then my biggest mileage week in March. My right calf began to play up in the build up to the race. Luckily I managed to walk the tightrope of pushing myself during the Sandy 10 race, and avoiding injury; even managing to get a PB. However the next day I knew my calf needed to be looked at, and booked myself in to see the physio. The session that ensued was both a relief and a disappointment. I had avoided doing any permanent damage to my calf, but it had been very tightly knotted and the physio had pretty much broken down my calf and shin muscles. The result? My final heavy training week before tapering for London would have to be readjusted. In terms of mileage there wasn't too much of an adjustment; however I missed a key interval speed session which I had been intimidated about when it was first sent to me by my coach, but after Sandy I felt confident that I could complete it. Now this session had been scrapped to make way for one that was still challenging, but at a reduced speed of half marathon pace. Maybe it was the tiredness from the week before or that I stored up too much against this work-out as a barometer for how I would do at London. Whatever the case I felt sad and frustrated to miss the workout, as though I hadn't lived up to my training. Writing about it now it seems almost silly. I was still going onto complete 22 weeks of consecutive and specific training; something I know a lot of people would be grateful for and something that I am very proud of, considering how the Summer of 2018 went. Looking back on that week I think fell into the trap of equating one key session with how the outcome of my marathon would go, which is illogical, and possibly indicates that I may have become too highly strung about my workouts. It's always good to have that hunger to complete workouts, but not at the expense of losing the ability to run the race you are training for. In any event my body felt like I had been hit by a freight train after the physio session, so even if I had been stupid enough to push, I don't think my body would have let me.
Whilst this was going on, events more serious and sad were going on in my life. I must stress that I did not see these events as a distraction and/ or nuisance from my running; rather the ease in my training allowed me to stock of the things going on in my life. Someone I worked with on a weekly basis passed away unexpectedly and suddenly. We got along well and had a laugh at work, which is always something to be welcomed. The thing I couldn't get out of my head was how it would affect his family. Needless to say events like this make you take stock of life, and pause to realise how grateful you can be about the life you are living. On a far more minor level, during that week I discovered that I had lost my wedding ring. Fortunately my wife was very understanding about it, but I felt very sad about losing it. I still hope I can find it somewhere in my house or maybe someone will find it at work. Right now I am just practicing patience and not attaching too much importance to the ring. After the events about my colleague passing away, I am just happy that my wife and I are getting along and happy together.
So now as I enter the final week of the London Marathon, I have decided that I want to try and find this elusive 'balance' for 2019. To create some sort of compass for how I approach my running; allowing for a consistent set of principles and values that I can apply to the many different circumstances that I encounter with my running. In the spirit of this declaration I can truly and happily say that I have really enjoyed my training in the build up to the London Marathon 2019. The only thing left is to relax into this taper week, focus on what I have achieved and look forward to lining up to the start line. I have busied myself with analysing some of my past marathons and also the last two times I ran the London Marathon, which has yielded some interesting insights. I will be taking some of these into my race, and will report back in the blog about whether they helped or not.
On a final note I hope those who have been injured in their build-up to London and/ or have been injured for a long time are finding a way to resolve their problems. I still look back at the constantly fluctuating progress and then sharp halts in my running during the Summer of 2018, and wonder how I managed to avoid being stuck in that hole. I still don't think I quite have the answer to that. So instead of allowing myself to get caught up in the taper craziness that always accompanies the build-up to London, I remember how grateful I am to be running.
So for now it is time for me to wish everyone good luck at the London Marathon!
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