VLM 2019: a day of reckoning

"Surely you are on for a personal best at London this year?", "just take it easy if you don't feel that good on the day" and "remember if the weather is like last year don't push too hard". I am sitting with my family on a warm Easter weekend in a homely Italian restaurant. The discussion has turned towards how everyone thinks I will do at the marathon. I have found- surprisingly- that my family have become uncannily good at predicting what I will do at each marathon, on the basis that they have been following my training and build-up races to that particular marathon. Numbers are banded around and bets are taken; with 2hrs 50mins and below even being mentioned as an outside chance for me. I laugh and say that would be a dream for me if I was to get near those times at London. My repeated attempts at reaping, what I would consider, a great run have yet to be the outcome from two years' worth of training. My stomach is full and my body feels relaxed (one of the many benefits of the taper period); so my thoughts- are quite naturally- turning to when I can lay down to sleep off all the food I have eaten.

Nevertheless the discussion about my potential times at London this year cause my stomach to tighten, various parts of my legs tense up and my mind to drift off to the all training I have done leading up to this year's London marathon. I still stand by Charlie Spedding's dictum- in his book 'Last to First'- that the London marathon is not a marathon for first-timers to be doing if they want to race it well. From previous experience the crowds that are meant to carry you around the course, lure you into a false sense of speed as you are carried along the course without even realising that your precious energy (and personal best potential!) is being sucked out along the first half of one of the greatest marathon courses in the world. By the time you are over half way through the course, it's too late and that feeling of ease in the first half turns to discomfort. The crowd becomes a wall of noise distracting you from the painful task of finishing a race that you have badly misjudged. You are a fighter who has walked into the harsh sting of an exquisitely timed counter-punch. That surprise is getting to and from Canary Wharf, so by the time you have made it back to the continuous crowds from mile 21 onwards your final remnants of willpower have been eroded and you are clinging on to the thought of just getting these last miles done. Yes I have definitely fallen prey to the temptation to go out too fast at London. Yet I have seen so many people achieve such wonderful runs and times at London, that I still hold out hope that I can do the same...

Stick or Twist?

What is the greatest challenge that runners face? I ponder this thought, as I lie in the bath looking at my big toe, which no longer has a nail due to my latest cycle of marathon training. I have been for my final long run a week before the London Marathon 2019, though at eleven miles it doesn't feel that long. I return my thoughts to the original question. At first I turn to the addiction to constantly obtain personal bests (PBs)from each race one takes part in, however I can't in all honesty say that I think this is the hardest obstacle a runner faces. We all have different versions  of PBs that we are looking to achieve in our running; be that distance, fundraising, time or simply just a running streak. So what about avoiding injuries? Yes that was a big part of why we eat healthily, stretch, foam-roll, sleep and have sports massages; however it is something that in one way or another all runners (in fact people playing any sport) accept as part of the taking part in that particular pursuit. So in my opinion it wasn't injury either. I thought about what I knew about running now, as compared to when I started running for the Brighton Marathon in 2014. There are so many things that I wouldn't do now, that I did back then, and I wonder if learning more about how I train is a perennial problem that all runners face. I dispel that thought, as I think anything that if you are pursuing any sort of passion you will always be learning and becoming aware of your limitations.

No I decided that the biggest quest a runner faces is when to push on or when to hold back? Ultimately about how we as runners find our balance, and by that I don't mean being balanced all the time; but knowing when we have gone too deep into our training. I finally landed upon this answer when I was watching the Netflix documentary Resurface.  It is a documentary about a surf instructor who uses his talents to help American Afghanistan and Iraq veterans recover from their physical and mental injuries by learning how to surf. The strength of this short film lies in its understatement, there are no dramatic moments or music pulling your heartstrings; just these ordinary men describing how the war affected them. Whilst watching the film I was struck by a comment one of the veterans said about what he learnt as he progressed in his surfing ability. The veteran stated how you have to constantly respect the ocean, you can be surfing on the edge of that wave, but if you aren't aware of everything you are doing you can fall into the ocean and it chew you up and spit you out. He goes on to say how ultimately you come to realise that the ocean is bigger than you and it will always be there, no matter what you do. Whilst I wouldn't directly compare marathon running and training to learning how to surf. It did strike me how we are always trying to find that 'edge' ,where we are looking to consistently improve our performances whilst avoiding injuries. In that way I think running and surfing are similar in that both sports are trying to find the ever elusive spot of perfect balance. It could also be said that their fates are similar as well. The surfer either successfully rides out of the wave or is subsumed within this huge natural event;  the runner successfully completes their race to their expectations or falls short (either during the race or through not being able to train properly for it). 

March Madness

We exchange worried glances with each other; I don't know whether the old man I am running past is concerned or just bemused at the face I am pulling at mile 16 of my final long run. Or is it mile 17? At this point I don't really care, my legs and I seem to be having a constant argument about why we can't just go home and lie down on the sofa instead of doing this long run. So far I have managed to keep them under control, but I start to wonder for how much longer.

March has been a busy month for me. Not only I have managed to train consistently and progress, but also I have been able to race well over two consecutive weekends. Namely the Reading Half Marathon and the Oakley 20. 

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Reading Half Marathon

Reading was starting to become a sort of nemesis for me, as I came away from the last two times I had attempted to race it feeling frustrated and disoriented. My training had indicated so much more for me those previous times. It seemed like Reading was some sort of implacable and silent foe, every year thwarting my efforts to peak at races during my marathon training. Rather like Ryan Gosling felt in Only God Forgives below (of course he knew how I felt...):

Now and then...

I have been thinking a lot about dialogue during February, and not just because of Brexit. To me the constant barrage of abuse and dogmatic belief from both sides regarding the UK's potential exit from the European Union, has highlighted the importance of continued listening and constructive debate between two sides with opposing views. I have also been thinking more about this with my running. 

I tend to find February a tough month to adjust to in my marathon training; it's when the intensity of my speed and tempo session goes up a level, whilst the mileage increases as well. The combination usually leads to me becoming fatigued- whilst I adjust to my training getting harder- and being susceptible to man-flu. It was whilst I had my head covered with a towel over a boiling bowl of Vicks enhanced water, suffering with the aforementioned man-flu, that I listened to Joe Rogan's podcast with Lance Armstrong. I had heard about this episode through the Marathon Talk podcast and it intrigued me. First of all because a lot of the running podcasts tend to focus on the positives of the sport they talk about, and secondly because I haven't really listened to a podcast interview yet where there is a disagreement between the two people talking. The interview with Lance did both of those things: it was about someone who had done something seriously wrong within an endurance sport and Joe wanted to understand why he had cheated, whilst not entirely agreeing with the reasons for why Lance did it. I thought it was a fairly balanced interview, though at some points I thought Joe was being too sympathetic to Lance's stance.I did come away, however, from the interview with a better grasp of how the cheating had occurred and what I genuinely think is a more nuanced view of the systemic problems that cycling/ running faces. An even better example is the Western States 100 Synchroblog Project. I think it is something that should be done more often in running and would allow for a more constructive debate, rather than people getting angry across social media or when an incident happens at a race.

Planning for the future

It's 5 January 2019 in Stratford, and I am running my first 10k of the year. The treadmill has been replaced by the park near the Olympic Stadium and people out on their morning stroll stare aghast at why anyone would put themselves through running on a cold Saturday morning. I am in a small group of runners near the front of the race, and I can hear their various rates of breathing; some people are huffing and puffing, whilst others have a more even breathing pattern. Whilst we hurtle around  the course and down to the River Lea, I am just grateful that things seem to be going okay and my breathing is noticeably better than anticipated. I had expected the heavy deep gasping from my treadmill training in November 2018 to follow me round this course, but I feel in control and my mind feels calm. It is just over a month since I have started receiving coaching, and I urge myself to not get overexcited at the thought of achieving a personal best at this race; don't ruin your race by getting focused on the outcome! I am just happy to be running with people and almost start to have a chat with my fellow competitors and then laugh inwardly at myself for thinking such things.

Drawing to a close…

The Christmas holidays have brought a much needed rest for me, with the chance to catch-up with family and friends. I always find the period between Christmas day to New Year’s Day a strange time, as people seem to become focussed upon finding the best deals and the latest gadgets. I found myself drawn into this whirlpool of consumerism, as I tensely searching the websites of running stores to buy my preferred running shoe at the cheapest price. I convinced myself that it was necessary to obtain these shoes, as I aim to be running the London Marathon in 2019; however I couldn’t help thinking that I had become caught up in the spending rat race that characterises Christmas now. This vast splurge of spending was contrasted with the sad news in the run-up to Christmas of a homeless man dying near the Houses of Parliament. It seems that homelessness is becoming an increasing problem in the UK, with complex causes and taking place against a harsh economic climate and volatile political situation. Regardless of your political or religious beliefs I found this clip I listened to on Radio 4 to be a relevant call to action about how we – as a society – confront homelessness, as well as show some compassion for our fellow man. Whilst people may not agree with the religious message, it does serve as a counter-point to the increasing material nature of Christmas.

Running in the present

I’m coughing and spluttering, all the while as I try to gulp breaths of air running along on the ‘dreadmill’ (a nickname I heard another runner give speed training that is done on the treadmill). The man next to me, who is going at the enviable speed of walking pace, grumbles something about ‘bloody runners, getting in the way of you on the street and making loads of noise in the gym....’ I lose track of his moaning, as I try to focus on not flying off the treadmill. I would say that I care about what this man is saying, but I am finding it simply too hard to get a good rhythm on the dreadmill and I am having to use every ounce of concentration to complete this workout. Not a pleasant experience.

It seems even Google is willing to confirm this, as typing in ‘treadmill history’, immediately brings up posts about treadmills being invented as a form of keeping idle prisoners active and productive in the early nineteenth century. I base this on a Wikipedia post, so how reliable that account is another matter; but what it does state to me is that treadmills were never invented with a positive purpose. Even if they have been adopted en mass by the fitness industry, my speed session is certainly not a pleasant one.